i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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