yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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