we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
