Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize