I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
