I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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