White coat. Heels.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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