I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
