I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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