You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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