that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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