she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
