at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
