there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
