So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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