Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
