she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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