You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
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