Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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