we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
try to milk me bitch
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