I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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