Your tits are I can't wait for
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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