This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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