After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm passing your future prison.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
soo... how was my night?
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