it hurts more in the daytime
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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