sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
