i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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