Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
