Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
