is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
