I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
