I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
