ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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