best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
