I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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