I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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