You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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