i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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