Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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