you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Girls should come with a carfax report
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize