Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I have post one night stand depression
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