Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She said her name was "party"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
