Whod you bang
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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