Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
