yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
