I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i've created a new STD.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
