i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
