wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
