Well douche your snatch and let's go!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
