My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
