you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
