also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
