Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
