He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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