I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
not ubering you a puppy
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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