By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
