me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
