Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
