He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
