yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
it's great music for shaving your balls
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
