she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
