Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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