you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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