Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
420 ftw
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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