i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
