Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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