YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
