fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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