We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
