Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
