Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
