wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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