she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize